My friend in the tech industry said to me recently, “If I have to talk about AI one more time, I’m going to lose it.”

I’m not going to talk to you about AI. I’m going to talk to you about our relationship with it.

Over the last few months, my social media feed has become a real-time record of how we are processing this new partner in our lives. We aren't just using a tool; we are now negotiating a coexistence. Check out Esther Perel’s podcast episode about a guy and the AI chatbot he has feelings for.

Here is what my algorithm is telling us about how we feel about this new, tumultuous relationship we are all experiencing and looking to social media to help us figure out our feelings.

We don't like the feeling of being fooled, duped. When we see a post that uses a perfectly placed em dash, contrasting statements, or AI buzzwords, our internal alarm goes off. We prefer (for now) real human connection. Our brains say, If you don’t have enough time to write it, I don’t have the time to read it.

Link to IG reel: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DWCGPNhDZit/

We’ve picked up on AI’s cadence. That overly eager, hyper-polite, "I’m happy to help you with that!" energy is starting to grate on our nerves. We crave real connection. While we prefer frictionless communication, we’re realizing that without friction, there is no soul.

Link to IG Reel: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRPgfaAkd8a/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

We want it to be human because most of us know how to connect with humans. So, it tries to act like a human. But the moment it fails, the frustration is visceral. We want it to do better. But do we?

Link to IG Reel: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DL8HsdmJI1n/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

We aren't just choosing software anymore; we’re "dating" it. And now we want to train it to know us and anticipate our needs. And we are disloyal, fickle lovers. I mean consumers.

Link to TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@askcatgpt/video/7595848872539245838?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Steve Jobs shares his dream: a computer you can talk to, like having a conversation. The dream is to have access to wisdom, but maybe the dream is now a nightmare.

Link to IG Reel: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVvEdESj5eI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

We’re feeling paranoid and exhausted keeping up with AI. We know the hyper-vigilance is not sustainable. The next generation is laughing at us because we can’t discern what is real and what is not.

Link to TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the.johnsonbrothers/video/7576429340146011423

Overall, yes, this is just another article about AI. But it’s really about us.

We relate to AI like another human because that’s the only way we know how to relate. We call people out for not covering the tells. We want it to be more human, yet we fear the moment it actually becomes one.

Like any good relationship, you have to advocate for what you want out of it. Much like social media addiction, you need the awareness to make intentional choices. Don't let the AI determine its relationship with you.