My partner of 13 years just bought whole milk at the grocery store.

Whole milk.

For the past 13 years, he has always bought skim.

I like whole milk.

He likes skim.

Years ago, I put whole milk in the cart, and he said, “We don’t have a baby. Whole milk is for babies.”

I said, “Huh? What? You say the weirdest things sometimes. Um, whole milk is healthier.”

He said, “Put that back. Get the skim.”

I stood there, confounded. Do I argue, or let it go?

I let it go. Not every assumption needs a conversation. Otherwise, I’d be talking 24/7.

Then today: he brings home whole milk.

I ask, “Why did you get whole milk?”

He said he watched a YouTube video and how whole milk is healthier.

Then he looked at me and said in all seriousness, “Why do you ask?”

We all make assumptions

Some assumptions are small. Some assumptions are big. Sometimes an assumption sticks around a lifetime. Sometimes an assumption disappears overnight. Sometimes an assumption sticks because it’s harmless. Sometimes an assumption sticks because it protects you, comforts you, or keeps you moving fast.

As an executive coach, I’ve heard it all. So, I know how to listen. It will happen… when a client finally says the quiet part out loud:

• “I’m not controlling. I’m just fixing.”

• “My employee doesn’t respect me. They keep questioning my authority.”

• “Am I doing enough to get where I am trying to get?”

That sentence is the moment the assumption is visible. And with someone listening, you have a better chance of catching it, accepting it, and disconnecting from it. My clients leave sessions knowing what they want to do, what to say, and how to say it.

A 10-minute exercise for today

Open your favorite AI chatbot and talk through one decision you’re making this week. Then ask: “What assumptions am I making?”

Notice your reaction. How does it feel to notice your assumptions? Do you prefer one over the other to notice them solo, with others, or with technology?

What’s next

Tomorrow, we stay in disconnect, but we move from assumptions about ideas to assumptions about people: what happens when you feel disconnected from someone, and how to repair. Or, let it go.