Calm, Comfortable, Confident Communication in Continuity

As a leadership and communications coach, I don’t just teach presence and clarity. I have to practice it myself. And yes, I get nervous. I overthink. I run through all the advice I give my clients and hope it sticks.

That’s what keeps me honest and empathetic.

Fifteen minutes before a big meeting, my brain starts spinning. Will I blank? Ramble? Talk too much? Freeze up?

Cue the internal pep talk:

• Take a breath, Michael.

• Say it: You’ve got this.

• Gesture. Smile. Not too much.

Then, after it’s all over, someone typically says,

“You’re so calm.”

CALM? I was shitting bricks.

That’s when it hit me:

Executive presence can be performed.

We like people who seem grounded. But when we’re under pressure, we try to perform confidence instead of building it. And the more we try to look confident, the more we risk sounding fake. Cringe.

I used to teach tactics… because they work. But tactics without strategy is just spinning plates. You can manage the moment, but you won’t feel whole.

Tactics help you survive.

Strategy helps you grow.

That’s why I built the GAINZ Framework. Leadership presence is trained. Built over time. Through repetition and reflection. It’s a strategy for long-term presence that tactics alone simply can’t give you.

Let me show you what I mean.

The GAINZ Framework

Presence is like a muscle. You don’t build it overnight. You build it with reps and reflection.

Goals

Get clear on who you’re becoming.

Leadership presence isn’t one-size-fits-all. Are you aiming for curiosity? Calm authority? Thoughtful precision? Don’t perform what you think people expect. Practice becoming the version of you that feels most like you.

Ask yourself: When I leave the room, what do I want people to say about my leadership?

That’s your goal. Speak to that every time.

Awareness

You can’t change what you don’t notice.

Most of us have no idea how we actually show up. So build awareness into your workflow. Ask a trusted colleague, “What’s one thing I do in meetings I might not notice?”

Use tech if that’s your thing. Transcribe your next meeting and run it through an AI chatbot. A simple prompt: “You are an executive coach. Analyze how I show up in this meeting. What are my strengths and how do I improve?”

But don’t completely outsource awareness. Reflect on whether you are showing up how you want to show up based on your goals.

Integration

Presence isn’t summoned. It’s practiced.

Try this: don’t interrupt anyone for five minutes. Notice what that discomfort reveals.

Or, spend five minutes before a meeting setting an intention. Not just what you want to say, but how you want to show up.

Over time, those small reps change your default. You stop performing. You start embodying.

Network

You can’t do this alone. And you don’t have to.

Ask your peers:

• What do you do before a tough meeting?

• What’s your tell when you’re nervous?

• How do you recover when things go sideways?

Build a circle of people who are also in it for the long game. Not just the flash of a polished moment, but the practice underneath it.

Zoom Out

This takes time. Strategy always does.

You’ll have days when you stumble. You’ll misread the room. You’ll talk too fast or say too little. That’s not failure. It’s feedback.

Don’t confuse a shaky tactic with a bad strategy. Zoooooooom out.

What story are you telling yourself about your growth?

And what changes when you see all this not as evidence you’re falling short, but proof you’re in training?

^{What This Looks Like In Real Life}

I coached a brilliant technical leader at a major tech company. She had the respect of her team and deep product insight. But every time she stepped into a high-stakes meeting, she panicked. Tightened up. Tried to sound “executive.”

It backfired.

Together, we used the GAINZ Framework.

• G: She defined the presence she actually wanted to build. Not what she thought execs expected.

• A: She saw that her speed came from dreading ambiguity. We practiced pausing.

• I: In everyday life, she started noticing when she micromanaged small things to manage stress.

• N: She watched grounded leaders during conflict and started adopting their phrasing.

• Z: In coaching, we stepped back and saw how far she’d come in just a few months.

That’s what leadership GAINZ look like. What changed wasn’t just how she spoke. It was how she led.

Not just polished tactics but durable presence.

Not just reacting better but becoming wiser.

Not just sounding confident but being steady when it counts. Want to build this kind of presence in your team or your own leadership? Let’s talk.