Day 4: Are You Coming to the Cottage?

The article’s title is from Heated Rivalry. “The cottage” represents an intentional pause. A decision to step away from noise and expectation. That way, what is really happening has time to actually happen… whatever that might be for you.

If we never go to “the cottage,” our mental models get stale. We keep describing new realities with old language.

When we go to “the cottage,” disconnection brings us back to ourselves. When we get distance from the systems and expectations we’re reacting to all day, we can then reconnect with people and ideas in a more intentional way. We remember what we actually think. We notice what we’ve been assuming. We come back clearer.

For most of human history, the world had pauses. The morning newspaper set the pace of information. Communities had to wait for a phone tree to reach them. Markets closed on Fridays and reopened on Mondays. These rhythms gave people regular chances to reset attention and regain perspective, as Yuval Noah Harari has pointed out.

Technology no longer gives us pause. It thinks, iterates, and influences 24/7. Many of us have become addicted to staying connected. Stay informed. Keep up. Don’t miss anything. A kind of societal hypervigilance. Being offline feels scary.

A trend spread in late 2025. Influencers started posting videos of themselves staring at walls, clocks in frame, to prove they did nothing for an hour. They called it “rawdogging boredom.” There was not a hint of irony in it. 

@alyssaavlogs

Rae dogging boredom for 15 minutes to fix my attention span #focus #ADHD #bored #fyp #boredom

Our relationship to technology and work needs to be re-evaluated. No shit.

But, I can hear you saying to yourself…

• “If I don’t stay connected to the project, I’ll be flustered on Monday.”

• “I should keep an eye on Slack, so I can reach my career aspirations, Michael!”

• “I’ll just skim the news so I’m not behind.”

Sunday afternoon arrives.

You feel it in your body. A weight on your shoulders. Your heart skips. Your stomach tightens. The Sunday Scaries show up right on schedule.

Disconnect. Get Distance.

In the past three articles, we explored what it means to connect. Connection is a beautiful thing. But too much of anything is not good,

To become of the greats in the age of AI, you will need to disconnect. You have a long way to go. And, to be honest, the way you think right now is why you are stuck and why you might be left behind.

Same ideas, different words:

You will never be able to question your assumptions if you’re constantly connected to them. You will never see your blindspots if you never get distance from current thinking.

Yes, human consciousness will merge with AI. I don’t think there’s anything we can do to stop it. We might be the last generation who can think for themselves. So, let’s enjoy what time we have left in the old tradition of humanity. Be grateful for what remains. So, let go.

When you disconnect, different questions become easier to ask:

• How do I actually want to show up to work?

• How much agency do I actually have in shaping a future I want to live in with my friends and family?

• Can I enjoy my life without constant worry or need to control?

These are the questions that my clients ask me in the moments after they have had a realization.

I have no answers. That’s not my role.

As a coach, my hope is that leaders in the age of AI act with intentionality. And, I believe, intentionality requires disconnection. Time without technology. Time with yourself. Time with friends. Time for boredom. Time for long conversations that wander that are not recorded by Fathom. Time at a club, feeling yourself like Jon Hamm does.

Trust that when the lights go back on, you will figure it out.

Becoming one of the greats in the age of AI has to have this element. This a core belief of mine. That we all know how to pause, regain perspective, and return with clearer judgment. And we give each other latitude to do this.

So, I’ll ask you again.

Are you coming to the cottage?